How Do I Tell My Man He is Foul?

This is just a sample of the dozens of life lessons and no b.s. information on modern dating that you will find between the pages of Sucka Free Love!

Chapter 7
If Love Is The Answer,
Could You Rephrase The Question?
 

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I've been with my boyfriend for about 3 months and I couldn't ask for a better guy. He is kind, honest, has a great sense of humor, is always a gentleman and is extremely attractive.   The problem is that he has poor personal hygiene!  I feel so bad because I love him but I'm getting really turned off by it.

He rarely showers and washes his clothes maybe once a month! My cousin even noticed the dirt on his clothes! The smell was so bad that she actually rolled down her car window!  He always has sleep in his eyes and he wears the same things over and over again. I'm not saying he has to look like he came off a runway, but can't he at least shower for his girl? How can I hint around without flatly telling him he stinks and hurting his feelings? -- Female, 20, Clothes Pin On My Nose

Dear Clothes Pin:
Oh man!  Where is Miss Manners when you need her ass?  I guess I’ll have to try to fill in.  Buy ole stink butt some cologne and special soap in a fragrance you like.  Give it to him as a gift.  Tell him to use them both every time he plans to come over "because the smell really turns me on."   

The next few times you do laundry, tell him to come over and bring his stuff so you two can "spend that time together talking because laundry is so boring."  Bake his favorite cookies to entice him to keep the appointment.

If those two very broad hints don't work, you are just going to have to tell him that although he is a kind and wonderful man, he smells like a Billy goat, is so dirty that if he got caught in the rain he would grow moss, and that the fumes emanating from his body are an environmental and respiratory hazard!

(c)2007 Deborrah Cooper, relationship expert, advice columnist and author of Sucka Free Love! How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional and The Deranged - a guide for modern singles on modern romance.  Find out more by logging onto www.suckafreelove.com 

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