Recognize The 5 Warning Signs of an Internet Playa

This is just a sample of the dozens of life lessons and no b.s. information on modern dating that you will find between the pages of Sucka Free Love!

Chapter 3 -
I’ll Call You! I Love You!  Let’s Hang Out!
(and other lies we tell about dating,
sex, commitment and availability)

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
For the last two weeks I have been engaging in a Internet/Long Distance relationship with a nice, well-rounded gentleman. I met him via Internet by just looking at his message concerning, "What Moves Your Spirit". Immediately I was intrigued by his message and proceeded to send him an Instant Message. He responded to my IM and there we started to talk and tell each other our life histories.

He let me know that he was married but quite unhappy in his marriage. He then let me know that he wanted out of the relationship and to start a new chapter in his life with me. He is an ordained and licensed minister, has a job in the healthcare field. He is also a father of 6 children, along with 4 stepchildren. He is 41 and I am 27.

I desire very much to be with him, but I sometimes have doubts because of his history. Should I give a chance even though his is in the process of getting a divorce, or should I not start a relationship with him?                                                  -- Female, 27, Lonely and Confused

Dear Lonely and Confused:
If this guy is a minister, he is a minister in the Church of Satan, worshipping at the altar of Plenty o’ Poontang! Surely you cannot be so naïve at 27 that you don’t know married men ALWAYS claim to be unhappy, and they ALWAYS claim to be getting a divorce?  You have to know this!  It’s such a basic sex game, any woman past the age of 15 should be familiar with it! 

You cannot believe a man would lie in such a way?  Why wouldn’t he lie if it’s going to get him what he wants?  Men want things to be easy, and they lie because desperate women eat the lies up like puppy chow.   Your fake minister is a pro.  I get the feeling he has run this game on many women before.  He covered all the “play her for sex” bases:

• Created an ad headline and ad that a romantic, stars in her eyes type woman with a religious bent would be attracted to.  She would read the ad over and over again, and find the words and the man behind them captivating. (She would also assume this guy is special and unique, since he was able to put her feelings into words);
• He shared his “life story” (so you will feel close to him, like you really know him, like you two have a chance at something great and are maybe soul mates.  You have so much in common and you know he is really suffering in his bad marriage and you feel you can save him…);
• Claimed to have a job in the medical field (so you won’t think he is stupid or broke, though when he gets to paying child support for 6 kids believe me, HE WILL BE BROKE AS HELL!);
• He told you that he was a minister (so you will think he can’t possibly be lying or trying to cheat on his wife because he is a GOOD CHRISTIAN MAN);
• And of course, he wants out of the relationship and to start a new life with you (so you would believe he is seeking permanency and commitment, and wants to marry you down the line because he is the marrying kind of guy). 

See how the game is played?  Do you see how you fell for it?  Played correctly, you would feel justified in sleeping with him since he says he is getting a divorce anyway, and since he already told you that he wants to be together.  You would be thinking all this nonsense, though you haven’t even laid eyes on this sucka yet, or spent even 30 seconds in his presence).

Online dating can be fun and a great way to meet other busy singles tired of the nightclub scene. But you must take care to screen the men you meet as much if not more than those you meet offline.  And you never, ever involve yourself with a married man.  No friendship, no conversation, no sharing of your life story (meaning your loneliness and weaknesses), nothing.  

He is another woman’s husband and has nothing to give you but stolen moments and a ton of fanciful lies that will keep you giving to him and getting nothing in return. 

(c)2007 Deborrah Cooper, relationship expert, advice columnist and author of Sucka Free Love! How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional and The Deranged - a guide for modern singles on modern romance.  Find out more by logging onto www.suckafreelove.com 

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